How is the weather in your soul?
I didn’t know I needed it until I had read it. But what a gift it was, and the 'weather in my soul' changed because of it.
It’s a wonderful question, and risks being a slightly dangerous one because it can invite an instant answer: Tired, a bit grumpy, overwhelmed, happy, nervous...all of the above.
This morning I asked my team the same question, they answered: intermittent sunshine and overcast, thank you team.
All instant answers, but they might also be describing mood rather than the deeper climate, or weather, we’re living in.
Asking about the weather or our soul’s climate feels like something more substantial, so I sat with the question a little longer.
What’s the weather like in my soul?
Really thinking about a question like this will result in different things for different people. For me, it led me into another set of questions:
- What am I actually asking God for at the moment? (It's ok to ask God for things.)
- What is God doing in me, not just around me?
- What do I want?...and is this the same as what do I need?
That final question, the want vs. need question, took me down a bit of rabbit hole. I have found myself asking my daughter "is it something you 'need' or 'want'?" and many parents (I hope!) have found themselves in the same spot.
The rabbit hole:
I’ve been reading this week, not a huge amount, and by no means as much as I should be, but I’d got into one of the recommended reading books from the Methodist Church:
I wanted to finish a chapter of this book, but it turns out I also needed to finish a chapter of this book...
There was a story about a minister and one of her church members, a woman she had known and walked alongside for many years. That woman found herself in hospital. During a visit, the minister noticed that this person’s face hadn’t been washed and her hair hadn’t been brushed, and because the minister knew her, really knew her, she gently washed her face and brushed her hair.
The author didn’t reflect on the frustration about the health system or complain about staffing levels or structures or whose job it “should” have been.
Instead, the author painted a picture of the embodiment of Jesus. Agape, a love that simply is.
…did I want to read that story, or did I need to read it? The answer was both.
I didn’t know I needed it until I had read it. But what a gift it was, and the weather in my soul changed because of it.
I’m not a natural sit-and-read chap. I get distracted, I sometimes feel guilty, because there are a hundred other things I should or could be doing instead, and some things I read, (and this also happens with films I watch)...they can overwhelm me. I’m dreadful with a tear-jerker.
But what we need doesn’t always arrive efficiently or comfortably: it can arrive unnoticed, until we realise we’ve been changed by it.
How is the weather in your soul?
Not how busy you are, not how productive this week has been, not how well things are going on the surface, but what do you want from God? What do you need from God, and what gift might God be offering that you didn't know you were looking for?
How is the weather in your soul?
There was a great wind… but the Lord was not in the wind;
and after the wind an earthquake… but the Lord was not in the earthquake;
and after the earthquake a fire… but the Lord was not in the fire;
and after the fire a sound of sheer silence.” 1 Kings 19:11-13
